Fanfic Title: [A][B][C]

Author: th1rd3ye

Review by: xiaoxi

@ http://darkside-jj.blogspot.com

Title: 10/10

At first glance I thought it was a random title (there are too many random titles floating around nowadays). After reading I thought it was indeed the perfect title for this fan fiction. Thumbs up!

Foreword: 5/10

From your foreword, I could not make anything out of the fan fiction. There were not even excerpts to lure readers in. The only details provided were some information such as genre and length of your fan fiction and information on the characters. A good author should slowly reveal the personality of the character instead of just feeding it to the audience like you did. The readers should be able to understand the characters by themselves.

Even in a book, you won’t find introductions such as this:

- Choi Jung Hoon (F.T. Island)
Labelled as the Prince Charming, he was handsome and popular among the female students.
He was always deemed to be perfect with Jung Eun.

Appearance: 6/10

For your background image it was .A.B.C.M.O. instead of your title [A][B][C]. I feel it would be better if it were coordinated. Such as changing your title to [A][B][C][M][O] and the quote on your poster would do the explanations - after [A][B][C], you have to [M][O]. Move On.

I personally thought the background colour is too bright on the eyes and it also takes away some of the ‘attractiveness’ from the poster. Both the poster and background is so bright, which do I focus on?

Plot: 15/15

There’s only one word to describe - sweet. I thoroughly enjoyed the fan fiction.

Flow: 9.5/10

The flow was smooth all along, until I got the shock out of my life when there was applause in Chapter Two. For a second I thought Jung Hoon was making a fool out of Won Yeon. You sure got me there!

However, the ending seemed too abrupt. How could Won Yeon forget all about Jung Hoon so easily? Although she knew she has to move on, how could she so easily let go and just started eating?

Originality: 8.5/10

The plot was fairly creative and original.

Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 9/10

I managed to catch only a few specks of mistakes as I was reading; therefore it did not really inconvenience me greatly in my reading experience. However there is a sentence from Chapter One that I would like to point out:

“I had always thought that that someone was someone from Jung Eun’s gang, watching me and my every move.”

I believe this is just a typo mistake, and that you know this sentence is incoherent. Just take note when you’re typing next time!

In Chapter Two, Jung Hoon was stopping Jung Eun from her unreasonable behaviors towards Won Yeon and he said, “I love Han Ji Yeon!” Are you getting confused with some other fan fiction you’re writing? Or does Won Yeon have two names?

Characterization: -

I honestly have no idea on how to rate on this area, since half of your fan fiction is wrote based on the play ‘A Modern Fairytale’. It seemed unfair to ignore the characteristics built from the beginning until the end of the play and rate based solely on the later half of the fan fiction, but it didn’t seem right to include the characteristics since it was just a play. As such, I took out this section. You’ll find that 10 marks will be deducted off the overall score (the usual score being 105).

Writing Style: 10/10

Your writing style is clear and easy to comprehend.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5

Bonus: 3/5

I like authors who interact with readers (:

Total: 81/95

Reviewer’s note:

Thanks for choosing me as your reviewer! I’m sorry for taking so long on this review. This is one rare work that is worth the time reading!

Good luck and thanks for requesting!

Xiaoxi, loves.